Catherine is hard. Especially when you're not one of "them."

This post contains extremely minor spoilers for Catherine.
This post contains discussions of adult themes.

Catherine is a hard game. I normally play games on their hardest difficulty from the start, then move down if it feels too tough. I had to move down to Normal very fast in Catherine. What's worse is I ended up clearing the game the first time on Easy mode because even Normal was a little too tough. And I thought I was pretty good at puzzles!

Does this look confusing? This is the easy part.

But I'm going to talk about a different kind of difficulty today: the difficulty to identify with the characters in the game.

Character design, script, dialogue, and acting are a big part of a lot of games these days. Before, all you needed to have a good game design was a game that was fun to play. But now all of that can be ruined (for a lot of players and critics alike, at least) if you have a game with ear-grating voice acting or a dull story. Even if you enjoy fighting your way through a game's challenges, if you can't relate to the characters who are pressing your adventure forward, sometimes you don't want to continue with your fun.

These kinds of things matter today, especially in games which have a strong focus on story. Half of Catherine is nothing but story.

The tale of Catherine is an interesting one for a game--Vincent, the game's protagonist, is under some hefty peer pressure to marry his long-time, serious girlfriend, Katherine, but he's certainly not ready. His remedy? Drink himself senseless every night at the bar. His solution turns out to only worsen his situation when he gets so drunk he takes home and sleeps with girl-of-his-dreams Catherine that he met at the bar (or at least he assumes, since he can't even remember).

The promotional pop art is what first drew me in.

From this point onward (in other words, even from the very beginning) the game starts to get weird. And not always in a good way.

The dialogue is not realistic at all. In order to preserve the game system in which Vincent's inner thoughts change depending on the choices you make in response to text messages and weird internet polls, Vincent says almost nothing when he is with the girls, other than mumbles and stutters. The girls pretty much talk for him, in only the most awkward of ways.

And while that seems to be a common complaint among players, and an easy way to get detached from the characters you're supposed to care about, I felt there was an even bigger issue with the game.

The game assumes you view society in the same way as the characters do, and almost punishes you if you don't. I don't have to be a disowned prince to sympathize and relate to Gustave in SaGa Frontier 2. I don't have to be stripped of my mechanical limbs to understand Nathan Spencer in Bionic Commando. I can still relate to these characters, because the concepts of "being thrown out of your own home must feel terrible" and "losing something dear to you is painful" are ones I am familiar with. Even if I've never lost something precious, I view the world I live in as a place where losing something precious is not a desirable thing.

Catherine, on the other hand, is based around romantic relationships, and there's a huge focus throughout the game on the differences between men and women. And a major plot point of the game is, of course, cheating on your significant other.

They way all of these things are handled assume that you view them all in the same way as the characters. If you don't, the game becomes increasingly difficult to relate to.

Firstly, the romantic relationships between people seem almost forced and political in the characters' worlds. I find that there are a lot of people like this in real life, too, sadly.

You don't date someone because you like being around them. You don't marry someone because you want to be with them forever. You do these things for almost arbitrary reasons. Because you're "supposed to." The game assumes that you, too, believe that dating and marriage are just "parts of life" that everyone must do. And since life is like that, there are of course rigid rules to how it all works.

Countless times throughout the game, characters reference the fact that all women want to get married, and absolutely hate not being married the older they get. The opposite is true for men, in the characters' eyes -- men fear and despise the idea of marriage, and hate it more and more as they age.

Even if you factor out the ridiculous gender binary stereotypes and say either sex can view it either way, is it reasonable to believe there are only two possible views on marriage? There are plenty of people in the world who have no desire to marry. There are people who enjoy being single, people who are in a relationship but don't feel they need to be married, and more.

But what makes it harder for me to relate to is the fact that I don't believe in marriage at all. I know that sounds strange, coming from someone with a husband, but I'll try my best to explain.

We live in a world where marriage defines what makes a family or a relationship, and so I'm somewhat forced to participate in that. I love my husband and I love that he is my husband. But I wish society was structured in a much different way.

A lot of people are shocked when I say I don't believe in same-sex marriage, considering I'm in a committed same-sex relationship. But I don't believe in it because I believe that same-sex marriage is not marriage equality.

In our society, we are slowly redefining what constitutes an acceptable romantic relationship. A lot of people are happy that same-sex couples, "non-traditional" relationships, are becoming accepted. But there are so many people who believe in other types of non-traditional relationships that are not being accepted.

There are people who believe that love is capable between groups of people, not just two people. They are very happy living that way. But they certainly can not have a three-person marriage. Why should we give special political rights to people in two-person relationships?

There are people who believe in living as a couple but do not believe in marriage for other reasons, like the fact that it is an archaic religious rite that shouldn't be a part of the political structure of a family. But they either have to conform to something they don't believe in, or they are denied rights that other couples are able to get easily. Where is the equality for these people?

And there are even more non-traditional relationships that some people believe in and are happy living with, but most people don't see relationships that way, so those people have to suffer not having their relationships granted the same legal benefits as others.

I don't believe that what makes a family has anything to do with marriage. Family are the people closest to you that you vow to keep in your life, and never want them to leave. They are the people who shape us and mean the most to us. Why do we need to fit them into rigid categories in order to gain the right to include them in our families? I think there should be a different way we structure what is politically a "family unit." People already abuse things like marriage and adoption to bring people into their legal family for nothing other than some kind of legal/political benefit. Shouldn't everyone have the opportunity to abuse this system in this way? Or shouldn't no one?

I think the only solution to marriage equality that is truly fair is to allow anyone and everyone to marry whoever they want. And by that I mean you should be able to marry 10 people including children, dead people, maybe even your pet cat, whatever. That would be marriage equality. If you exclude any group or type of relationship, even if you don't personally believe in it, that's still inequality.

A more realistic approach, of course, is to get rid of the institution of marriage altogether. It's not fair to give people special benefits just because they conform to a certain definition of what a relationship is supposed to be. Even if we change it to add some other subset of people, it's still not fair to all the other people in other types of non-traditional relationships.

And can you see how far off-track I've gotten? Think about how different what I'm saying now is compared to what a "relationship" and what "marriage" means in the world of Catherine. That's how distant I felt from the characters while I was playing. They seemed so plastic and cold to me. I couldn't identify with them at all, because the game wanted me to view the world in a way that made no sense to me.

Women are made to look at. And men are terrifying.

The game also revolves a lot of the script around the differences between women and men. As expected, the game's characters--every last one of them--has a pretty rigorous definition of what is a man and what is a woman (and yeah, they treat them like completely different species). While some of the characters have mildly different opinions of what makes man or woman, they all are certain that they are two separate types of beings and there is no room for variation.

Again, this was hard for me to relate to. Even though I know a lot of people think this way, I find it hard to relate to in real life as well. From a very young age, I realized that I had traits--interests, feelings, whatever--that did not line up with the social group I was supposed to be a part of. There were things adults liked and kids didn't, but I still liked it. There were things girls liked and boys didn't, but I still liked it. There were things this religion believe in but that one didn't... well, you get the idea.

Did liking baking make me a little girl? Well, I was pretty sure I was male, from what I knew about anatomy as a child. Did that mean I liked "girly" things? What did it mean? I remember wondering I learned early that boys just didn't like girl things when I asked something like, "If you call a boyish girl a tomboy, what do you call a girlish boy?"

I soon realized that people were crazy and tried to fit everything into these categories when they didn't even belong there. Sure, categories and labels help us organize and communicate, but they certainly don't define us. I liked baking because I liked baking. There was no other reason. And this didn't make me any more or less me. And it definitely didn't make me a woman.

Later in life I started to learn that what was "masculine" in one society may be "feminine" in another. And I started to learn that there were people who didn't identify as male or female, and some cultures even had other gender groups that we don't have in our culture. I started to realize that gender is a social construct--something that people just make up and go along with because the human mind feels a need to categorize things. We learn it from others and believe in it, too, not realizing how unrealistic it really is.

But we are individuals. Our sex does not make us who we are or determine anything about our personality. The way other people treat us, the way they train us to think (which is often based on our sex because of people's feeling that gender roles must be obeyed and recognized), that's what determines our personality.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have gender roles--the human mind is designed to organize things into strict groups. It's the only way we're able to parse language and communicate with each other, because we can group things like this.

But when people believe so wholeheartedly and base their entire view of the world around gender stereotypes and roles and rules... I can't even begin to understand it. And like I said, that's how the characters in Catherine talk. I can't relate to that at all.

Alcohol, tobacco, and adultery. The three pillars of Catherine?

Lastly, a major point of the plot is "cheating." Catherine takes a someone progressive approach here. The hero of the game is cheating on his girlfriend; however, as he is the hero, after all, you learn to appreciate his inner struggle and sympathize with him.

Normally, people in our society view cheating as an end-all, the horror of all horrors. You can repent from murder, molestation, whatever, but if you're a cheater you're always a cheater, and there is no forgiveness. I once tried to defend someone who cheated and people were quick to view me as a worthless pile of meat that deserved to suffer a long, painful death.

But even still, Catherine still bases a lot of its story around how cheating is such an evil thing and mostly unforgivable, and the hero is trying to be get out of a situation and be forgiven for "accidentally" cheating. And I can't identify with that.

Now, I'm not saying I think cheating is good or morally justified or something. But I think people really need to step back and think about what cheating really is and why people may cheat. In Vincent's example, he was not even mentally aware of himself when he was cheating, and he was going through an intense inner struggle as symbolized by his nightmares. But even in this type of case, people would probably, in the real world, immediately throw him in the trash heap with other cheaters and deem him unforgivable garbage that never should be spoken to again. (I won't get into how if the situation was reversed where a woman did this, people would say a man took advantage of her and feel sorry for her, even though it's the exact same situation).

But let's stop and think about it. I know I'm beating a dead horse, but it's scientifically reasonable to assume that humans are not meant to be monogamous, and monogamy and staying "true" to a partner is unnatural and unrealistic. But being that we're fairly complex beings, we're able to go above and beyond those natural instincts and control our actions. So monogamy is within our catalog of lifestyle choices, albeit going against nature. I just wanted to get that out of the way.

I also want to say that "cheating" is also a social construct, and has almost no real definition. That's why people are always asking stuff like "My boyfriend did this... is that cheating?" I could write an essay on how "cheating" is impossible to define and in the end means nothing, but this post is long enough already.

I have a few problems with the way cheating is presented in the game, and how it's largely viewed in society, as well.
First of all, I don't believe that we should ever restrict the people we love from expressing themselves, sexually or in any other way, whatsoever. I don't believe it is fair to set limitations on what someone can do because you want to define your relationship that way. I think this is selfish and morally wrong. To me, "cheating" is not even a concept I comprehend because I do not wish to force any arbitrary rules about taking care of one's own needs upon the people I love. I do this out of respect and care for others. I know that as a single human being, I cannot possibly take care of every last need and desire of someone else. I want my partner to be as fulfilled and happy as they possibly can be. That's what love is, to me.

But I also understand that we all grew up in a world where "cheating is bad" so most people don't agree with me. So I also want to note that even though I believe the way I do, I have never and will never seek any kind of satisfaction outside of the relationship I'm in. I do this because, like I said before, I have a lot of respect for my partner. If they believe I should not seek out solutions to my needs and desires outside of the relationship, I will respect that and honor that. It is not my place to force them to think differently. That is what love is, to me. And I think that a lot of people who think like me are also devoted and respectful and would refrain from "cheating" if their partner or partners wished it. 

So why is it, then, that people who believe in monogamy are the ones who cheat?  Well, like I said before, I don't think that a single person is capable of fulfilling all the needs and desires of another. The problem comes from the fact that people do not communicate their needs and desires in their relationships enough, which leads to a feeling of resentment or a feeling of frustration. When we simply assume all of our needs are going to be met by our partner, we encounter a problem when they end up not being met. 

I find the best solution to this is to communicate your needs. Even if your partner decides that you should not be allowed to have your needs met because you are in a relationship, it helps you realize and accept what monogamy is. If you're just being monogamous because you know "you're supposed to," but you're not actually thinking about it and talking about it with your partner, you will not understand why you still feel unfulfilled at times.  But if you communicate with your partner, you will have a better understanding onf your situation. You will realize that while perhaps not every last need you have as a human being is being met, the ones you are expecting to be met by your partner are being met. Then you have a sense of fulfillment and you are happy. In short, we can't expect anything and everything from our partners.

There are other reasons people "cheat," too, like simply a lack of judgment or a weak moment. The human mind loses a lot of its self-control when faced with a situation in which it can fulfill a bodily need. If you are starving and see a bunch of delicious food in front of you, it becomes very difficult to refrain from eating it. Sexual desire is a natural human body function, and it's natural to lose self-control when faced with a situation in which your body is desiring to reproduce and you are near a willing and arousing partner.

Because of this, I believe that cheating can sometimes be forgivable and understandable (well, I also believe that everything and everyone can be forgiven), and every situation should be taken as an individual situation, and not judged simply because "cheating is cheating."

But yeah, now that I've rambled on... remember, we were talking about Catherine. And cheating is certainly not viewed like this in the game. To the characters, cheating is a real and concrete thing that has definite implications, and of course, makes you an evil, terrible, soulless person (or in Vincent's case, just feel like one for a while...)

So all of this combined, I felt pretty lost through most of Catherine. And not just when I was pushing blocks around to no avail. I really felt like the game was more well-suited to someone with a very different outlook on life. Someone a lot more traditional in their thoughts, I guess.

But I think what's most surprising about it is... I really loved Catherine, and it quickly became a favorite game of mine. And yes, because of the story more than the block puzzles!

The entire point of Catherine is to delve into the mind of a character, seeing their inner turmoil and sorting it all out. The point of the story is to really dig deep into the psychological structure of a character. And even though that was supposed to be done through the nightmares and Vincent's inner thoughts... to me, the entire game was a study of other ways of thinking. The game was written this way because there are people out there who really think like this. And I was able to understand them more by examining and following along with these characters.

Sure, I didn't relate to them, and it was hard for me to get very emotional throughout the story, but that doesn't mean it wasn't fascinating, getting to look into all of these strange and foreign ways playing out through the characters' daily lives.

I think no matter where you stand on all the issues I rambled on about above, Catherine is well worth a playthrough or two. There are a lot of surprises, a lot of excitement, mind-breaking puzzles, and even a bunch of random trivia about alcohol. Plus you get an insight on how other people think, while watching a fun story that only Atlus can deliver. Seriously, pick it up and try it.

And if you already played through once and put it away on your shelf, try it again and rethink the way you view society, distancing yourself from the characters like I did. You may find it's a completely different experience this time through.

Catherine, promotional artwork, and screeshot are property of Atlus and are used for illustration purposes only